


fulcrum

by aelescribe



Series: percussive permutations [2]
Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Ableism, Deaf Character, Deaf Nicolas Close, Gen, Lark and Sparrow "ACAB" Oak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29760963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelescribe/pseuds/aelescribe
Summary: Nicolas has mixed feelings when the kids start signing to him upon his return.Jodie doesn’t like it.
Relationships: Nicolas Close & Henry Oak, Nicolas Close & Jodie Foster
Series: percussive permutations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2187318
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	fulcrum

**Author's Note:**

> FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EP 52 SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> back with more deaf nick because he has my whole heart and soul :-) a little Nicolas-Jodie centric dynamic, and an expansion on his relationship with Henry, too, because Henry seems like the only person who really gets him, is concerned for his safety and autonomy, and wants to give him space to be as he is. Even when he's Narcolas. I think we could do with some Henry-Nicolas parent bonding fr
> 
> also he's referred to as nicolas in this fic cuz that's his name when he's in jodie mode. this series will go kind of back and forth on that depending on where he's at mentally :') jodie joe foster is the king of literal Tone Policing so CW for ableism

Nicolas is, at first, very put off by the kids signing to him.

Jodie had already spent some small fortune on an unsuccessful cochlear implant, speech therapy, hearing aids, all the classes and doctor’s visits, so he could lead a somewhat normal life with this _impairment_.

Even if he didn’t say it out loud, he didn’t need to. The sentiment was felt. It sat sour in Nicolas’ mouth. 

Jodie just wanted what was best for him, right? He wanted Nick’s life to be easier. There wasn’t a large deaf community where they lived that he was aware of, and it was easier for the whole family to speak one language. 

He caught Morgan’s creased frowns every so often, but when she turned her face to him, she simply smiled. They would sign to each other during those long stretches of time when Jodie was at work. It was like a secret.

Nicolas didn’t like—well, he wasn’t sure how he felt about keeping that part of himself secret. Pretending it didn’t exist. Pretending it didn’t influence him. 

Sometime after they get back, after they bust out of the Supermax, after that phone call with his mom—Nicolas knows Morgan uses face-time so they can sign to each other because she _hates_ phone calls, but Jodie prefers them, so that’s how they communicate—the kids start signing to him.

As though overnight in his absence they made an agreement about who Nicolas was without him and stuck to it. It was like they were falling back into an old routine that Nicolas doesn't remember, but they included him like it was his idea, and pretending it's normal just makes it weirder. Grant was talking to the group in hushed tones when they returned and, upon seeing Nicolas, cleared his throat and waved. Terry signed asking if he was okay. And Lark and Sparrow were fingerspelling _N-A-R-C-O-L-A-S._

Cool. 

Nicolas has mixed feelings about it. Jodie doesn’t like it. 

He gets Jodie not wanting him to sign with Glenn because, frankly, Glenn is a mess and a bad influence. He wouldn’t want them communicating in any language.

With the kids, he gets… annoyed. Jodie has these tics, subtle but there, betraying his anger through a cold sternness. The clench of his jaw. A pinch on his earlobe. A prick of pain to ground him, channel his emotions, and allow him to compose himself as he determines what careful thing he will say.

“Would you like to share that with the group, Lark?” 

Lark and Sparrow are fingerspelling _A-C-A-B_ back and forth no matter how many times Nicolas brings one bladed hand upon his palm asking them to _STOP_. 

_It’s funny_ , Terry insists, flicking his nose. Grant snorts. 

“They’re just talking, Joe,” Henry replies, knocking the air with his left hand—a stunning endorsement. 

“I’d prefer if we all _talk_ , if it’s something that pertains to the group,” he replies. Nicolas understands his frustration. He’s noticed his father feeling distinctly left out, and he empathizes with that. 

_PLEASE_ , Nicolas asks, knowing Sparrow is easily felled by kind words. He elbows his brother and they stop signing, but continue snickering to each other under their breath. Jodie’s gaze burns into the side of his face, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He eats breakfast, sneaking occasional glances up at his friends or Henry. It’s kind of annoying to start with, mostly because the kids have limited vocabulary, but they know more than Nicolas expected. Like they had learned it some time ago and it came flooding back to them. More vocabulary trickled in every day, and the more they signed together, the more fluid it got.

Soon, perhaps for the first time, Nicolas begins to feel like they _understand_ him. Even if they were making fun of him, he could understand what they were saying. They’d sign to his face instead of talking behind his back. And by they, he means Lark and Sparrow. Mostly Lark. Henry is an unexpected comfort during this time. He guesses the twins learned sign language from him, and he’s surprisingly fluent, if overconfident and eager in his abilities. He always makes an effort to make conversation with Nicolas, and is the only one who’s treated him like a real person this whole trip.

Besides Jodie, of course.

While Jodie takes care of the trash, he can’t help but ask, _G-L-E-N-N_? 

Henry shakes his head. _He’s resting._

Nicolas doesn’t know why he feels disappointed. 

_He’s okay_ , Henry continues, but the conflict in his brow says otherwise. _He needs to recover_. Understandable. Nicolas didn’t get the gist of it, but in only four days, Glenn looks completely different from when they left him, even as his thin smile tries to convince the group nothing’s changed.

Jodie comes out of nowhere and Nicolas almost jumps when he clears his throat, laying a protective hand on his son’s shoulder. “Henry, I’d prefer if you speak to Nicolas.”

“Dad, it’s fine,” Nicolas insists. His voice sounds hoarse, but he can’t tell if it’s how he’s speaking or the hearing aid. It’s been steadily losing battery the whole time they’ve been here, and he’s surprised they’re still working. Barely. It keeps conking out every so often, leaving him with radio silence as everyone chatters on around him.

At least now, he knows if he loses that, he won’t lose his ability to communicate. He tries not to think about how much of a relief it is to sign instead of speak. The effort it takes to dictate words, speech, tone, to sound _just right_ and have it all come out _perfect_ —it vanishes. He can relax. He can just _be_ without putting on a front or replicating the image of his father. Or, anyone but himself. He's not sure why that thought comes so strong to the front of his mind.

“I was just letting him know things are okay with Glenn,” Henry says smoothly. The smile that was on his face tightens in Jodie’s presence. 

Jodie’s hand tightens on Nicolas’ shoulder. There’s something more going on, he can tell, from his father’s radiating anger and Henry’s staunch defensiveness. 

“I appreciate that, Henry, I do. But we are a _speaking_ family, and with all that’s happened recently, I need to make sure we’re on the same page, so I’m going to need you not to sign secret conversations with my son. I don’t like being left out of something that concerns his safety.”

Henry looks at Nicolas to confirm, asking. Like he cares about his opinion.

“Dad, I’m okay,” Nicolas says. His chest feels hot. 

Jodie barrels on. “Same goes for Lark and Sparrow. This isn’t the time for clubhouse games and secret languages. What we’re fighting against requires us all being on the same page.”

“We _are_ on the same page.”

“I’m getting the distinct feeling we _aren’t_ , Henry, between this, and all the secret _huddles_ you think I don’t know about—” He releases a sharp exhale through his nose. Nicolas tenses his shoulders. “I just don’t like being left out of the loop.”

“Neither do I,” Nicolas mumbles. 

It shocks them when it comes out.

“What?” Jodie asks, his tone softening just so. 

“You think it’s easy to listen to all you guys talk when I can’t— _listen_ to you guys?” Nicolas gestures to his hearing aids. “You think it’s easy letting you speak for me all the time, just sitting back while other people make decisions _for_ me? _About_ me?”

Even having to speak this, now, is because Jodie won’t listen any other way. 

“Nicolas,” Jodie says, at a loss for words. 

“I finally get a say in the conversation and you won’t let me talk because I’m not _talking_? Because you don’t think I’m _communicating_ the way I’m _supposed_ to?” His voice sounds shrill and hoarse, even to his own ears, but he doesn’t care. 

“Lower your voice," Jodie instructs, like it's that fucking easy even after hundreds of classes. "It’s not up to you to make decisions or plans concerning the adults. You’re a kid, and I need you to be safe. I don’t get why you’re so upset.”

“Henry and I were just having a conversation,” Nicolas says. “The second I start signing, the second someone _understands_ me—gah, why do you always have to—to— _butt in_?”

“Nicolas, _language_.”

 _LANGUAGE_ , Nicolas signs, and laughs. 

Jodie bends so he’s eye-level with his son, looking equal parts concerned and frustrated. Even now, he doesn’t get it. Nicolas is shocked to realize that he never has. “Talk to me, Nicolas. How long have you been feeling this way?” Of course he hasn’t noticed. He's not surprised. He's just...

Hurt.

Why didn’t Jodie put in the effort to learn sign language? Why couldn’t they go to fundraisers or community gatherings? Why didn’t Jodie let Morgan sign in the house? Why did this have to be so _secret_? Tears start filling his eyes and his breath comes sharp, swift. Henry reaches for him, fingers curl into his palm, and his arm falls back at his side. Giving him space, granting him room to breathe. Nicolas can’t take that, either.

“You’re the one who can hear and you still won’t listen to me." He wrenches himself out of Jodie’s grasp, who is shocked enough to let him go without a fight. 

In the interest of transparency and making sure he is completely understood, Nicolas flips him off and stalks away. 


End file.
